How to be who you are

The big secret is that you don’t have to do anything. There is no list of prerequisites to accomplish, before which you can truly be who you are. The image you have of yourself sometime in the future when you finally lose the weight, graduate, get married, get divorced, have the baby, send the youngest off to college [insert whatever else here] is not actually who you really are. That person doesn’t even exist. They are most likely a character in the novel of your own mind, that you keep rooting for because you know their whole story and you know it must end happily at some point, right? But the thing is, you can’t ever get to the place of being who you truly are if you aren’t being who you are in this very moment. And the whole process beings with recognizing that in this moment, you are enough, as you are, perceived imperfections and all. That’s who you are. Not a person who has it all together at some point in the future, but the person who can embrace themselves in the current moment with compassion and understanding.

The only way to be who you are, is to turn off any expectation of yourself that prevents you from loving the current you. This is the only way to melt into the moment, to expand your soul a little bit, like swollen feet that finally get to relax after being crammed in tight shoes all night. Release those expectations, and what you will find is that there is some aspect of yourself right now that is the expression of everything you wish yourself to be. It could be your sense of humor, your faith in God, your relationships, or anything else. But there is something within you right now that feels like the truest part of yourself, its the part of yourself that you could recognize in the dark if you had to.
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Who you truly are is who you are right now. If you don’t like who you are right now, then dig deeper a few layers to what lies underneath. Connect to that inner self hidden away. Allow this part of you to breathe easily, knowing that it is seen. When you can become comfortable in this place, you will find that the only barrier to being who you are, is not taking the time to realize who you have always been.



You are your feelings, or are you?

Our feelings seem to be the stuff of life. They mark our biggest milestones, whether it’s getting our first promotion, giving birth, or experiencing the death of a loved one. Our feelings clue us into our lives and what action we want to take next. Without them, we would likely exist like a buoy in an ocean, bobbing up and down endlessly. Instead, our feelings infuse us with the energy of the waves, sometimes crashing violently onto the shore and at other times breaking like a gentle caress. Again and again, we feel the ups and downs in response to whatever Life is bringing to us in that moment. We feel emotion in response to what we are bringing to ourselves. Our feelings are how we know we are alive.

Sometimes we experience extremes of emotion that seem to take us over. Maybe it’s that feeling of frustration at the child who won’t stop crying, embarrassing us in a public place and drawing disapproving glances from those around. Or extreme bliss when we fall in love, which suddenly infuses us with the energy and creativity to accomplish long overdue projects. These extremes of emotion can often feel like in that one moment, the particular feeling is who we are. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. You are not the emotion itself. Who you are, is the experiencer of the emotion, the intelligence behind it. Just as the ocean is not each wave crashing against the shore, you are not the emotion passing through you at any one point in time.

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It is important to understand this difference because the implications can change your life. Once you understand that your feelings are merely a part of your energy moving through you, you can recognize that they are drawing your awareness inward for some purpose. The frustration at the child might be a sign that you have been neglecting your own needs. The utter bliss of falling in love can be an expression of deep gratitude for Life and a sense of connection with all beings. You can use your emotions as a roadmap to your intuitive self. When you feel a strong emotion, focus your awareness on it and the location it occupies within your physical body. This alone can be a transformative practice for many, but once you locate the emotion, become open to the message it is trying to communicate to you. Likely, it is acting as an invitation for your awareness to address unmet needs, or to connect more fully to the flow of life. And while your role as the experiencer is not to appease the individual emotions that may arise, it is to derive information so you can make conscious decisions about your life.

You will begin to notice that your emotions filter through you like little pieces of information. Truly, they are sensory signals from your body to foster awareness where there had been none. For this reason, our emotions are the greatest gift our soul has to offer us. It is a direct translation of an immaterial, metaphysical aspect of our existence into one that is concrete enough to allow our consciousness to rest on it for continued forward progress in our self-development.

You are not what you feel. But what you feel is the roadmap to being who you are. Each emotion that you experience, whether you label it negative or positive, is part of your soul’s vocabulary that you must learn how to read in order to fully express your true, immaterial essence into your real, expressive self.